Monday, February 27, 2012

Mommy Moment: Is Carter Team Edward?

Today was a strange day.

And I'm not quite sure what to make of my feelings at the moment.  I'm a bit sad, disappointed, confused and betrayed.  All by my little, 30% in Height and Weight, barely 2 year old son.

Carter may be a vampire.  Or worse, maybe even a bully.  I don't know yet.

I do know this.  He bit another child. (breathe, breathe, breathe.)

As a teacher, you are trained what to do in this specific situation.  It is, after all, a very crucial moment.
1. You separate the children.
2. Tend to the hurt child.
3. Talk with the biter.
4. Have the two "talk."  Encourage the biter to LOOK at their hurt friend (who is usually crying.)  Explain that their friend is hurting because of the bite, teeth are not for biting and it is not okay.

The next steps in a school setting are even worse.

5. You have to call each set of parents explaining the situation BUT leaving anonymity of the other student.  Eeeek!!!  Not fun!
6. Then of course, fill out paper work.
7. And some schools, depending on their age, have rules from the Big Whigs like: 3 strikes your kicked out, kind of thing!  Seriously BIG deal.

Well, Carter bit.  And the Three Year Old boy cried.  It was sad.  And embarrassing, but mostly disappointing.

And even though I KNOW what to do, I was kind of like a deer in headlights.  I went through the motions.  But it was much more painful with Carter, than another student.

I KNOW the blah blah like: this is natural, happens commonly at this age, they use it in frustration when they have the lack of words or power.  And because I know and really believe this, I never judge another parent or their child when it is them in the situation.

But because it's Carter and me, I can't let it go.

I have to keep bringing it up at inappropriate when he's seeming too happy or having too much fun, I have to say something like "Hey remember what happened at exercise today?  Three Year Old Boy was so sad.  Why did he cry?"  Or  "Is that a good cookie?  I like how you're using your teeth for food.  Is it nice to use our teeth to bite friends?"  When he looks glassy eyed again, I feel justice is being served and we continue on.  Appropriate?  I doubt it.  But I keep doing it.

Through the continuation of my workout class (where the incident took place) I couldn't keep my eyes off Carter.  He was now timid, sheepish and scared.  And I wanted it to stay that way.  If he got too close to another child, I didn't know what he would do next.  I was scared of my own child!!  And felt like I didn't even know him!?

It's now nap time and I'm looking up books like:

and wondering if this is really my son:

And what if he becomes the bully?  OH GOD NO!

Actually typing that last sentence out just made me start tearing up again.  

Yes, I teared up at workout class too, after I apologized for the 500th time.

Come back my silly boy!

I only want moments like this...for the rest of my life.

Ahhh, one can wish.  Right?

Side note: I almost typed out this question:
"Has your child ever done anything that has shocked you with sadness and or disappointment?"

But am scared that my parents would contribute!!  I know that answer!  

And now, I'm sorry.  I'm sure I was sorry then, but now I'm really sorry Mom and Dad.


  1. We have the "Teeth Are Not for Biting" book! And you are a great mom. Keep breathing! :0

  2. I'm your newest follower. I hope you'll return the favor. :-)




© 2011. All Rights Reserved. | Custom Blog Design By Penny Lane Designs